Cursing Their Head and All the Hairs of Their Head
The Carlisle Curse Stone
In 1525, the Archbishop of blah blah cursed these people in this one bit of Scotland. (Okay, it was the Archbishop of Glasgow. Whatever, he's dead, he doesn't care now.) 1,069 words. "I curse their head and all the hairs of their head," said the archbishop. "I curse their face, their brain, their mouth, their nose, their tongue, their teeth. May the thunder and lightning which rained down upon Sodom and Gomorrah, rain down upon them."
Yeah, he must have been pissed! Oh, I see, they were running around pillaging. Well, nobody likes pillagers. You try it sometime, and see. Someone will curse you! (Or at you, at least.)
So, just for fun, in 2001, as part of millemium celebrating, the village had an artist carve part of the curse on a stone, and then they set that up in the village. It's pretty! See the picture!
And then people started suffering curse-like problems. Foot-and-mouth disease! Unemployment! A fire at a bakery! FLOODS! It must be the curse stone! It's got a CURSE on it! Um... Except other areas of Britain have been flooding and had foot-and-mouth disease and all that.
Anyway. People are up in arms. Not all the people... just the stupid ones, of course. One stupid one is the bishop of Carlisle, who has asked the Archbishop of Glasgow (the current one, not the one from 1525) to lift the curse. Not the boulder, I hope, it's 16 tons. Just the curse.
This is all very unfair... The people who live there aren't pillagers anymore. I mean, I assume they're not. Did the curse say anything about the descendants of the cursees? Huh, maybe there's some kind of inheritance clause in curse law. Or perhaps, since they didn't actually carve the curse into a pretty 16-ton boulder before, the curse got confused, and it thinks the current generation was the intended target.
But there's hope: Uri Geller has offered to save the village by exorcising the curse from the stone, removing it, and sequestering it in his "healing garden." Well, HE'S a real prince, isn't he?
I think I'll go down to my local bank, curse all the cash in the safe, and then offer to de-curse it, if they let me take it all home and sequester it in my "healing wallet."
In 1525, the Archbishop of blah blah cursed these people in this one bit of Scotland. (Okay, it was the Archbishop of Glasgow. Whatever, he's dead, he doesn't care now.) 1,069 words. "I curse their head and all the hairs of their head," said the archbishop. "I curse their face, their brain, their mouth, their nose, their tongue, their teeth. May the thunder and lightning which rained down upon Sodom and Gomorrah, rain down upon them."
Yeah, he must have been pissed! Oh, I see, they were running around pillaging. Well, nobody likes pillagers. You try it sometime, and see. Someone will curse you! (Or at you, at least.)
So, just for fun, in 2001, as part of millemium celebrating, the village had an artist carve part of the curse on a stone, and then they set that up in the village. It's pretty! See the picture!
And then people started suffering curse-like problems. Foot-and-mouth disease! Unemployment! A fire at a bakery! FLOODS! It must be the curse stone! It's got a CURSE on it! Um... Except other areas of Britain have been flooding and had foot-and-mouth disease and all that.
Anyway. People are up in arms. Not all the people... just the stupid ones, of course. One stupid one is the bishop of Carlisle, who has asked the Archbishop of Glasgow (the current one, not the one from 1525) to lift the curse. Not the boulder, I hope, it's 16 tons. Just the curse.
This is all very unfair... The people who live there aren't pillagers anymore. I mean, I assume they're not. Did the curse say anything about the descendants of the cursees? Huh, maybe there's some kind of inheritance clause in curse law. Or perhaps, since they didn't actually carve the curse into a pretty 16-ton boulder before, the curse got confused, and it thinks the current generation was the intended target.
But there's hope: Uri Geller has offered to save the village by exorcising the curse from the stone, removing it, and sequestering it in his "healing garden." Well, HE'S a real prince, isn't he?
I think I'll go down to my local bank, curse all the cash in the safe, and then offer to de-curse it, if they let me take it all home and sequester it in my "healing wallet."
posted by annekat at
3:02 PM
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