Yelling at Kids to Get off Your Lawn is Just Not Enough of a Hobby

Mystery shoe saga stumps couple

Since December, an elderly couple has been regularly leaving pairs of shoes near a farmhouse in England. There have been more than 30 pairs so far.

The authorities think it's a case of people just discarding trash on the roadway. Clearly, the authorities are very stupid.

It's gotta be a hobby! What could be more fun? Have some old pairs of shoes? Leave them mysteriously on some stranger's property! Buy more, and leave them, too!

You know, it's hard to keep active when you're getting older, and your normal hobbies, like yelling at kids to get off your lawn, or falling asleep in front of the tv, get too strenuous.

Also. A couple hiking in the mountains in Sweden found 70 pairs of shoes... and they were all filled with butter. About a pound of butter in each pair. Or each shoe. I don't know. Either way, that's a hella lot of butter, you know, to put in your shoes. Or in any articles of clothing, really.

Link to shoe butter article, so you know I'm not making this stuff up, as if I had that much imagination.