Sunday, May 15, 2005

Too Lazy to Even Title My Posts Now?!?

I'm posting! Yay! Finally posting again, like a person! But too lazy to actually think of a title for it? Well, just between us, I never title them until they're written, so the title has a shot at actually being relevant to the post. Clever, huh? Sure. Anyway, I was apprehensive that I'm too stupid today to remember to go back and put in the title... And nothing bugs more than seeing most of the first line of the post, followed by ellipsis, used by default for the post title. WHY can't the blog software just, you know, pick something clever on its own?

My favorite expression right now: "It's almost like you've seen TV before!" Used whenever the Anvil of Obviousness foreshadows exactly what will happen. For example, you say to your pal nearby on the couch, "Hey, there'll be somebody behind that door now! And that's the real killer!" (You've figured this out because the camera lingered on the door and you've Seen TV Before.) And all this is shown to be true in the next moments or the next act, and your pal rewards you with deep, heartfelt admiration for your pathetic lack of an actual life that caused you to invest eighty-five thousand hours in TV. God, I love TV.

My next favorite expression is "That's not just stupid... That's 'riding the bus with my sister' stupid." If you've seen the Hallmark Hall of Fame Presentation on CBS, of "Riding the Bus With My Sister," starring Rosie O'Donnell and Andie MacDowell, well, good GRIEF you must have very little to do with yourself! Because, really, why else would you?

And, gosh, those two names have a lot of double letters.

But that movie, for those of you who weren't aware such a thing existed, was about Rosie O'Donnell as a very unsmart woman whose father died and her sister had to come take care of her, and thusly got the stick inadvertently removed from her rear end, and found that her boyfriend was her true love and she should have a baby and let Rosie O'Donnell hold it and pet it because she's not unsafe around babies or children, she's just slow. Or "special." I'm not sure what the right term for it is right now, but I'm sure it's not "retarded," which I find it hard to stop saying I am.

I didn't watch the movie. I'm sure somebody did, though. But I'm grateful to Rosie O'Donnell for giving us this wonderful new phrase for being dumb. What do you want to bet she gets nominated for an Emmy for it? The movie, I mean, not the phrase!

Oops... Spilled Diet Pope on my keyboard! That's 'riding the bus with my sister' stupid!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home