Mail Meat to Me!

Buy some bologna

You can buy bologna from Amazon.com. Seriously. Someone call Jeff Bezos and tell him that things have just gotten way out of hand.

Okay, they're shipping meat in the mail. Fine. You can also get a product called "Sixteen pair of Frog Legs." Or, shudder-inducingly, a "Fresh, Whole Rabbit." Or even "New Orleans Alligator, 'Sirloin Tail Meat, 1 Tray', 5 lbs"."

But what really sells this kind of product from Amazon is the smart-ass customer reviews. An example:

I likes to play me some banjo and rape city folk whiles I eats me a rabbit. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. If you cyber-folk wants some good eatin', order up some rabbits. That way all them bunnies I runs over with the pickup truck don't gets wasted. If you still ain't convinced, then maybe this'll make ya a rabbit-eater: The King himself--the honorable Elvis Aaron Presley--always loved him some good-ol' rabbit meat. And if it's good enough for the King...

Was this review helpful to you? Why yes. Yes, it was. Somehow, I'm even gladder to be a vegetarian.