Tom Cruise's Cousin is Creepy

William Mapother is Tom Cruise's cousin. I'm sure that's not why he has a growing career in TV and movies, although it's probably helped some. He's very talented. He was in Minority Report - I'm not sure, but I think Tom Cruise might have had a small role in that movie, as well.

It's not because he's Tom Cruise's cousin that he's an actor. As I said, he's talented. He's talented, in so far as, in the creepy roles he's played, he's extra-super-omni-creepy.

He was the guy in Lost who kidnapped Claire and Charlie and hung Charlie by the neck for his pursuers to find, after he warned them to stop chasing him. He had superhuman strength on that show, before he was shot to death. (Sorry if I spoilered anything for people who haven't seen that yet -- it was months and months ago, but people are still buying DVDs and catching up.)

Now, he's in the new CBS show, Threshhold. This show is already way high on the creepiness quotient. You throw in William Mapother, his (probably just special-effected) superhuman strength, and his penchant for hunting down other residents on the island, or in this case, people who've been affected by the alien signals, well, the creepy levels just get ratcheted up to Walken ranges.

I'm not saying he's a Walken, I'm just saying HE'S CREEPY. His face looks... weird. He does NOT look much like Tom Cruise, who, even though he's got weird religious blargle in his poor, fevery brain, is still gahgeous and is just getting more gahgeous as he gets older, due to the UNGODLY UNFAIRNESS OF MEN AGING INTO DISTINGUISHED AND HOTTER AND WOMEN GETTING RIPPED THE HELL OFF.

But I digress.

Anyway. Where was I? Hot... Guys... Tom Cruise's nice, tight... Oh! Yes. William Mapother and the creepy. Well, CousinofCruise is creepy. This is true. But it's probably just the roles he's played. And, if the weird composition of his face makes him get cast in these roles, well, it's not his fault. He's probably a perfectly nice, normal gent underneath, or rather, behind, the unfortunate front of his head.

Unless he's a Scientologist, like his cousin. If he is, then there's no hope for him, and he deserves the unkind characterization I've done of him here.

Scientology? Creepier than superstrong alien-infected crazy people that kidnap you? Considering that I can never again look at Tom Cruise the same way again, I'm going to have to throw them the vote on this one. Just out of resentment.

And out of the fact that they're all insane and they exist in the real world, of course. There's always that.