Turn Your Child Into a Horrible Warning

Pageant Winners

Here, look at this, it's kinda gross!

They're child beauty pageant winners. One of them, Alissa Anderegg, is in a new Steve Carrell movie about this guy who takes his family in a VW bus, determined to get his daughter entered in the finals of a pageant. Interesting, how they used a girl actually from the child beauty pageant circuit.

But anything to do with child beauty pageants? Kinda gross.

The children's faces? Kinda creepy.

The way they're holding wads of bills, presumably their winnings? What is UP with that?!?

The only thing skeevier than the page itself is the kind of people who would visit it. Except the parents. No, they're skeevy too. Except US, I mean. We go only to mock.

Mockery. It's the only thing keeping this country from, um, turning into a country with a lot more child beauty pageants. (Sorry. Got nothin'.)