Dogs of Hell, Coming Right Up

Bill Moyers, an essay on the Rapture Index

Okay! There's a good reason why Dubya is systematically destroying the environment. It's not that he doesn't understand what's happening, and doesn't believe in this newfangled "science" thingy. He actually is actively working to bring on the Apocalypse!

Yes, it's true! The Apocalypse is coming! And when it does, why, the prez will be Raptured right on up, probably right out of the Oval Office, to sit at the right hand of God and watch the rest of us be covered in boils and starved out by locusts. Isn't that keen?

He won't be alone. Half of Congress is going along for the ride, actively helping him bring on the rapture. That's good; it should make those votes against conservation much, much easier. And it's okay with the country, or a big part of it: one-third of the American electorate agrees! That's how many Americans believe the Bible is literally true, according to pollsters.

Okay, well, it appears that people really ARE getting dumber. Maybe flouridation was a big mistake, it actually makes you dumb, and we've traded better teeth for way more gullible people. (Hmm, conspiracy theorists agree: NO mistake at all!)

Well, just in case they're all right, let's all start forming up in groups right now, and get ready. Pick a side. Note: If you're on the Antichrist side, you'll have a pretty good time for about a millenium, but when you yourself die, there's some bad news about the molten real estate you'll be residing on.