Missing my appointment televison due to moranicity

Yes, apparently I am too stupid to manage to remember that Survivor is on a Wednesday this week. As I was also too stupid last week.

Doesn't CBS realize that some of us viewers are, uh, morans? (Apologies to any morans out there.) How can we remember to watch Survivor on a different day, when we have other important stuff to think about, like American Idol having a "do over" because of the voting phone numbers being screwed up by the booth people?

Not that I remembered to watch American Idol, either... Uh, NOT that I watch that show! I don't! I don't watch American Idol!

But, if I DID watch American Idol... Isn't that Scott Savol a "Can-I-pet-the-bunnies-george" looking kind of guy? Then he sings, and he sounds like an angel, you know, a guy angel, but I can't think of a better adjective.

No, no, I didn't watch either of those shows... I watched America's Next Top Model. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there you go. I have no interest in modeling as a profession, fashion as anything at all, models as human beings, or anything else to do with the freakish alien Tyra Banks or her kind. Yet, somehow the show is just so... evil. I can't look away.

They played a trick on all the wannamodels this week. They had a photographer purposely berate them. (As opposed to just inadvertently doing it, as happens normally.) He criticized every move they made, making notes "to himself" to not bother even developing the rolls of film they had shot. Hee! Boy, that's a meta-statement if ever I heard one. If only they hadn't bothered developing the rolls of film in the show cameras! Then we wouldn't have had to watch, and I might have remembered Survivor was on!

That show has picked up a bunch of new viewers due to the on-screen collapse of one of the models last week. It's a "vagus nerve" problem. She's just fine. Made for good TV, though. Well, comparatively. It beats watching them bitch about eachother's slovenliness, or practice runway walking.

But for really super-excellent TV, nothing is quite as compelling as reality show injuries. On the previews for next week's Amazing Race? Yes, a shot of Gretchen covered in blood. Also, Greg and Brian's vehicle runs into, um, I guess nothing, and flips onto its side.

There was a point during this week's show when all three of the suckiest teams were on a plane together, five hours behind all the others. Ray and Deana... He's ass. (Not AN ass, just ass.) Patrick and his mom, gee, does she have a name? I just call her Patrick's mom. Oh, yeah, it's Susan. He's awful whiny. I don't think he should have done this with somebody with whom he has so many issues to deal with. And Meredith and Gretchen, who are kinda dumb and pokey. And her voice makes my brain hurt.

Is it wrong, that I wished their plane could just... you know, have a little crash? Not that I wanted anyone to get hurt or anything. Just... to get them out of the race. Sadly, I couldn't think of a scenario that would be catastrophic enough to boot all three teams but also not hurt anyone. I is a moran.

Funny, when I was in school, one kid in my class was named Brad Moran. Hee! Snerk. He was really pretty mean to me. Perhaps one day he'll go on a reality show and wash out in the first elimination. Yay! I really do know it's not "moran." But since I saw the picture of the guy with the sign, it's been growing on me. I is SUCH a moran!