Smells Like Auntie Annie
Let's be clear: I bathe. I take showers daily. I never leave the house unshowered... that's just a thing I have. Plenty of people are like that, right?
And I use soap... I use a nice, liquid body wash, and I have a long-handled back scrubber. (Or "butt" scrubber, if you prefer that name. I know I do!) I don't THINK I walk around in a miasma of stinkiness.
So, imagine my horror, when I was chauffering around my friend and her kids. (Her foot is broken, so I help her out getting around town.) We passed through an industrial area that was kind of grimy and smelly, and suddenly, from the back seat, the two little children sang out, "That smells like Auntie Annie!"
And yes -- I'm their Auntie Annie.
It turns out that the girls were talking about a perfumy kind of smell they smelled, in some toy they had. (At least, they were, if you believe their mother's explanation.) The back seat of the van I was driving was eighty feet away from the front seat, after all, and the driver reaches the destination a full ten minutes before the rearmost passengers. So, they could smell an entire battalion of skunks before I would know a thing about it. And yes... skunks DO come in battalions. Didn't you know that?
But this is far from the most oddball thing the kids have said. One sweltering day last summer, we were hanging out at the old swimming hole-pool, and seven-year-old Diana comes up to me to tell me a Big, Important secret.
"You know what? Before we came in the pool, Mommy was shaving.... She grows HAIR! Under her ARMS!!!"
Damn. Secret's out.
And I use soap... I use a nice, liquid body wash, and I have a long-handled back scrubber. (Or "butt" scrubber, if you prefer that name. I know I do!) I don't THINK I walk around in a miasma of stinkiness.
So, imagine my horror, when I was chauffering around my friend and her kids. (Her foot is broken, so I help her out getting around town.) We passed through an industrial area that was kind of grimy and smelly, and suddenly, from the back seat, the two little children sang out, "That smells like Auntie Annie!"
And yes -- I'm their Auntie Annie.
It turns out that the girls were talking about a perfumy kind of smell they smelled, in some toy they had. (At least, they were, if you believe their mother's explanation.) The back seat of the van I was driving was eighty feet away from the front seat, after all, and the driver reaches the destination a full ten minutes before the rearmost passengers. So, they could smell an entire battalion of skunks before I would know a thing about it. And yes... skunks DO come in battalions. Didn't you know that?
But this is far from the most oddball thing the kids have said. One sweltering day last summer, we were hanging out at the old swimming hole-pool, and seven-year-old Diana comes up to me to tell me a Big, Important secret.
"You know what? Before we came in the pool, Mommy was shaving.... She grows HAIR! Under her ARMS!!!"
Damn. Secret's out.
posted by annekat at
1:48 AM
1 Comments:
As the everquest playing brother she lives with and never talks about, I can attest that she DOES bathe regularly. Usually twice a day. Usually when I'm either trying to sleep at night, or trying to make up for the lack of sleep the night before.
No, the lack of sleep is from everquest playing, NOT simply from being kept awake by the sounds of her showering.
But if anyone needs proof, I can show you my water bills.
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Anonymous, at 2:24 AM
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