If You're Evil and You Know it, Clap Your Hands

I'm happy today, because I got a thingy done!

For the first time in weeks, I actually had a free day, (Saturday), and I didn't have to be anywhere or do anything, so I went in to my job.

No, no, I wasn't trying to fill time in my pointless, lightless existence! I had an agenda! Really!

I've been wanting for weeks to set up a program that would print these reports automatically. See, every time we run a file, we have to print out all these reports. Two sets of them. And switch the trays and stuff, because they use different paper, et cetera. Et cetera. And, et cetera.

And it's fine, but to print each different report, you have to click like eight million times, and each report requires different clickings, and blah blah fishcakes. It didn't take too long at this job before it was obvious that this process is horse-related fecal material. We're PROGRAMMERS. Why are WE doing all the clicking, when the computer can do it for us?

So: You may not know this, Gentle Reader of the Internets, but there is software that's very cheap that will let you automate any mouse clicks or keyboard typing you can imagine. And that is all I want from life. (My needs are few in this world.)

So, it was an easy thing to set up... the problem was just in getting the time to do it. The one thing you don't want when you're setting something new up is to have people constantly asking you for things.

So, since today was SATURDAY, and there was nobody there to ask me to look at files or fix problems or ANY of that -- so I hummed a happy tune, popped a Mountain Dew, (drink of the gods), and piddled around and played and fiddled and whatnotted to my happy heart's content. And it works, it's all set up, and the reports, they is printing themselves now!

So, what does one do, once one has automated a previously onerous, annoying, ginormous waste of time? Only one thing: One shows the new feature to one's coworkers... claiming it's an existing feature that comes bundled with the software one already has had for years!

"You mean you guys didn't know this was in the software? You mean, you've been printing reports one by one, for five years?!? Oh, gosh! I'm sorry! I would have said something if I'd realized you didn't know! Oh, well... You know now. Just think of the time you'll save... that you wasted til now. Huh."