Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Where Do They Sell Colon Blow Cereal?

Eat more prunes and have a happy colon - advice from Johns Hopkins

I never get the recommended amount of fiber in a day. You're supposed to get between twenty-five and thirty-five grams in a day. The average American gets only about half what they recommend, between ten and fifteen.

Fiber is good, for helping with the pooping, and also you get better cellphone reception. So they tell me. Of course, "they" say a lot of things - it's probably a conspiracy. Those prune people are behind it somehow. Why would people be buying the things otherwise, if it weren't for all the propaganda?

So, imagine my surprise when I discovered that today I got OVER the recommended amount of fiber! I had lovely chili. It was yummy and nutritious. And apparently, very full of fiber.

Wait a minute... Thirty-five is the recommended UPPER limit. If I got thirty-six, as it seems I did... Oh, no! What does this mean? Is death imminent? Damn, I hope not. It doesn't seem to be a very dignified way to go.

Apparently, they DO sell a product called Colon Blow. It's not a cereal, though... It's a hot sauce.

Uh huh.