I Thank You, and My Cats Thank You

Method of exercising a cat

Thank goodness someone with a massive, ginormous brain finally put it to work solving one of humanity's bigger problems: providing their housecats with sufficient exercise. They came up with this novel and unique idea, and of course, patented it.

And, it's not simply something you could come up with on your own, either! Unless you've ever, ever used a flashlight or a laser pointer before. Which, you know, you probably didn't.

This patent's abstract:

"A method for inducing cats to exercise consists of directing a beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus onto the floor or wall or other opaque surface in the vicinity of the cat, then moving the laser so as to cause the bright pattern of light to move in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct."

I'm still not sure I understand how to work this method, as it's very, very fancy. I'll work it out, though, and update you here with the results.

The inventors, Martin H. Abbott and Kevin T. Amiss, have no other inventions. Yet. Watch out, people who apply heat to bread, creating a "toasted" effect!