Hello Cthulhu

The Misadventures of Hello Cthulhu

Cthulhu, elder god of the damned, meets Hello Kitty. There's never been a sweeter or cuddlier elder god of the damned, so, sure, Hello Kitty? Perfect match.

See! As Hello Kitty bedecks Cthulhu in ribbons! H.P. Lovecraft never came up with horrors to quite compare to Sanrio's Hello Kitty!

Look upon it, human, and wake screaming every night for the rest of your existence.

You'd Be Prettier Without Earlobes, You Know

Cat Fancier's on Declaw Legislation CA
Doggie's Paradise on Dog Ear Cropping

San Francisco is considering making it illegal to declaw cats. These are the same folks who, in May 2000, were banning ear cropping and tail "docking" for dogs.

People think ear cropping makes their dogs more attractive. Now... it's perfectly okay to get your OWN nose done, or ears "fixed," or whatever procedure you think you need, and are willing to pay for. (My own surgery, to get antennas, is coming up. I'm having attenas affixed to my forehead so I look like an alien. Also for better radio reception.)

But dogs, though they are willing to put up with a lot for love of us, don't have any understanding about the need for this. They just don't understand how ugly they are, with those natural, uncropped ears! How can they win at the show? Who will love them?

From Doggie's Paradise, I find this quote:

"Many dogs have gone absolutely head crazy and developed lifelong seizures... After ear cropping, dogs suffer from a phantom pain around the scars until the end of their life (!), what may cause serious behavioral problems."

Doggie's Paradise is an online dog information site, located in Bali. Don't ask how Doggie's Paradise came to be my source for information on dog ear cropping; my "research" for this "article" went horribly awry. That might have something to do with the fact that I was watching Donald Trump's current crop of aspiring corporate weasels, as they stumble towards unemployment. (Watch them! Mock them! They're very stupid, and they fight!)

There seems to be a lot more antipathy towards declawing and ear cropping in other countries. In Europe, declawing has been outlawed widely. It seems to be something that mostly is done in America. Except San Francisco. Don't try that stuff there. They like their pets un-messed-around with.

I'm sorry - this has been a very poorly written post. I keep getting wrapped up in how we do things to our pets that is inhumane, and we treat each other inhumanely as well. In San Francisco, they have the least tolerance for animal cruelty in the name of beauty, or for the sake of our furniture, and yet some people think that city is depraved. Yeah, it's such a pit of wickedness... People go around accepting each other for who they are, and all that, and refuse to let their pet's natural beauty shine through by chopping off bits of them.

Well, I do have one idea for how to prevent some cruelty to animals. Replace it with cruelty to the Trump wannabes! Yes, seriously. We can put little beaks on the Apprentices, and make them peck each other to death in a new kind of cockfight. It'll be the same as the show currently is, just they'll have to attack each other less with the mouth and the backstabbing, and more with the beaks and the, uh, frontstabbing.

Dogs of Hell, Coming Right Up

Bill Moyers, an essay on the Rapture Index

Okay! There's a good reason why Dubya is systematically destroying the environment. It's not that he doesn't understand what's happening, and doesn't believe in this newfangled "science" thingy. He actually is actively working to bring on the Apocalypse!

Yes, it's true! The Apocalypse is coming! And when it does, why, the prez will be Raptured right on up, probably right out of the Oval Office, to sit at the right hand of God and watch the rest of us be covered in boils and starved out by locusts. Isn't that keen?

He won't be alone. Half of Congress is going along for the ride, actively helping him bring on the rapture. That's good; it should make those votes against conservation much, much easier. And it's okay with the country, or a big part of it: one-third of the American electorate agrees! That's how many Americans believe the Bible is literally true, according to pollsters.

Okay, well, it appears that people really ARE getting dumber. Maybe flouridation was a big mistake, it actually makes you dumb, and we've traded better teeth for way more gullible people. (Hmm, conspiracy theorists agree: NO mistake at all!)

Well, just in case they're all right, let's all start forming up in groups right now, and get ready. Pick a side. Note: If you're on the Antichrist side, you'll have a pretty good time for about a millenium, but when you yourself die, there's some bad news about the molten real estate you'll be residing on.

A Brief Conversation

"They say it takes fewer muscles to smile, but frankly,
frowning is the only exercise I get."

"That's a common misperception. Actually, it takes more muscles
to smile."

"Oh. How many does it take to sneer and roll your eyes?"

You're Not Grown-Up Until You're 25

Slate Technology Stuff

From Slate:

People aren't fully rational until age 25. A study indicates the dorsal-lateral prefrontal cortex, which weighs risks, consequences, and long-term goals, keeps changing past age 21. Implication: Young adults may not deserve the freedom or responsibility of older adults.

Applications: 1) Virginia's state Senate has passed a ban on cell phone use by drivers under 18; the sponsor cites brain research as a basis. 2) The Supreme Court is considering whether brain research should limit use of capital punishment on teenagers. Meanwhile, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger will direct California's juvenile prison system to focus on therapy and "positive reinforcement rather than punitive disciplinary methods." 3) The cortex forms earlier in women—should they get rights and responsibilities before men do? 4) Should we rethink marriage or military enlistment by people under age 25?

Okay. This makes sense. That's why I think that people should be allowed to have abortions even when their fetuses are, say, 200 months old.

Okay, that's not my original joke. (It works out to about 15 years old.)

Hello Justin!

I'm thinking of renaming this blog to "Justin is here," because nobody comes here except Justin!

Just kidding. Except not really. No, really, I am.

I plan to start posting more hot naked hamburger pictures, for more, updated hot burger lovin'. That'll bring the hits.

Except not really, because that's not how this works. I don't think.

Spammers Won't Get You Now, My Precious

Spamgourmet

My precious, precious email address... All the dirty spammers want your addresses. The legitimate sites you go to want them, too, sometimes. But you can give 'em the old fakeout. You can give them a FAKE email address... but it still will let one email through to you. Or two. Or whatever, you can decide!

Spamgourmet lets you give a disposable email address to anybody you want. You can have as many as you want, and give a unique one to every site you visit. And you never have to do anything at Spamgourmet again. You just make up an email address IN YOUR HEAD. They don't have to know what it is! They take care of it for you anyway!

And the spamming creepballs will NEVER be able to see the REAL you! MWUH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! They can "harvest" your email address, but it will avail them of NAUGHT! NAUGHT, I say! You won't be bothered! You will never even SEE their nasty spam!

I'm going to go now, and listen to the happy singing in my head. La la la la la!