This Logo Makes Me Uncomfortable

Williamsburg Civic Association -- Arlington Pediatric Center



This is a very bad logo. I mean, if you have a clean mind it probably is just fine. But for people with dirty minds, you know, most of us... It's just not a good logo. For a PEDIATRIC CENTER. The longer you look at it, the worse it gets.

Maybe it's the one Michael Jackson takes his kids to.

Missing my appointment televison due to moranicity

Yes, apparently I am too stupid to manage to remember that Survivor is on a Wednesday this week. As I was also too stupid last week.

Doesn't CBS realize that some of us viewers are, uh, morans? (Apologies to any morans out there.) How can we remember to watch Survivor on a different day, when we have other important stuff to think about, like American Idol having a "do over" because of the voting phone numbers being screwed up by the booth people?

Not that I remembered to watch American Idol, either... Uh, NOT that I watch that show! I don't! I don't watch American Idol!

But, if I DID watch American Idol... Isn't that Scott Savol a "Can-I-pet-the-bunnies-george" looking kind of guy? Then he sings, and he sounds like an angel, you know, a guy angel, but I can't think of a better adjective.

No, no, I didn't watch either of those shows... I watched America's Next Top Model. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there you go. I have no interest in modeling as a profession, fashion as anything at all, models as human beings, or anything else to do with the freakish alien Tyra Banks or her kind. Yet, somehow the show is just so... evil. I can't look away.

They played a trick on all the wannamodels this week. They had a photographer purposely berate them. (As opposed to just inadvertently doing it, as happens normally.) He criticized every move they made, making notes "to himself" to not bother even developing the rolls of film they had shot. Hee! Boy, that's a meta-statement if ever I heard one. If only they hadn't bothered developing the rolls of film in the show cameras! Then we wouldn't have had to watch, and I might have remembered Survivor was on!

That show has picked up a bunch of new viewers due to the on-screen collapse of one of the models last week. It's a "vagus nerve" problem. She's just fine. Made for good TV, though. Well, comparatively. It beats watching them bitch about eachother's slovenliness, or practice runway walking.

But for really super-excellent TV, nothing is quite as compelling as reality show injuries. On the previews for next week's Amazing Race? Yes, a shot of Gretchen covered in blood. Also, Greg and Brian's vehicle runs into, um, I guess nothing, and flips onto its side.

There was a point during this week's show when all three of the suckiest teams were on a plane together, five hours behind all the others. Ray and Deana... He's ass. (Not AN ass, just ass.) Patrick and his mom, gee, does she have a name? I just call her Patrick's mom. Oh, yeah, it's Susan. He's awful whiny. I don't think he should have done this with somebody with whom he has so many issues to deal with. And Meredith and Gretchen, who are kinda dumb and pokey. And her voice makes my brain hurt.

Is it wrong, that I wished their plane could just... you know, have a little crash? Not that I wanted anyone to get hurt or anything. Just... to get them out of the race. Sadly, I couldn't think of a scenario that would be catastrophic enough to boot all three teams but also not hurt anyone. I is a moran.

Funny, when I was in school, one kid in my class was named Brad Moran. Hee! Snerk. He was really pretty mean to me. Perhaps one day he'll go on a reality show and wash out in the first elimination. Yay! I really do know it's not "moran." But since I saw the picture of the guy with the sign, it's been growing on me. I is SUCH a moran!

No cover sheet on the TPS reports

Gah, the president guy on 24 totally is a sucky president. He says things like, "Trying's not good enough!" and he's preparing to declare martial law because of the terrorist attacks.

People who say "Trying's not good enough," are idiots. OF COURSE trying's not good enough, but der, trying is all you can do until the effort succeeds or fails. What, does he want someone to press the "Easy" button, so we can all stop this pesky "effort" thing?

Nobody who could say things like that could make it to be president. Wait... What am I saying? GW makes fun of his employees. He sent the White House chief of staff out for food, totally mocking him, like "hope you can manage it!"

So, we all hate jerkwads in positions of authority. We all do, that is, except for sycophants and those who ARE jerkwads in positions of authority.

Despite my hatred of all things jerkwad-and-in-authority, I'm looking forward to NBC's "The Office." The BBC show is awesome. Ricky Gervais decided not to make more than two seasons, though people wanted more episodes. More! More! More oblivious, pompous, self-important boss! More weaselly sycophant! More disaffected underlings!

So they're doing an American version on NBC. It's always good to steal good shows from the BBC. (Except for "Coupling," which NBC turned into a nasty McMess.)

But now a question. The boss's name on the US show is Michael Scott. Will this show forever ruin that name for people unlucky enough to have been born with it? Like Bill Lumbergh? Do you have those TPS reports? Aaaaand.... I'm gonna need you to come in this Saturday. And Sunday. That'd be great.

Three... Two... One... Too Late, It's Spoiled

Whenever I've looked at the "Drink By" date on soda, it's always been years in the future. Or at least months. But we buy all our groceries these days at a cheapo store, where they usually stock overages from other stores, or damaged goods, or food with misprinted labels, that maybe isn't strictly legal to sell... All that good stuff. And, I guess they buy stock of soda that hasn't moved efficiently through the supply chain. Yes, our soda is old.

But imagine my shock and horror when I glanced at the date on an 8-ounce bottle this morning, and discovered that the date is day after tomorrow!

Well, hell, we have cases and cases of the stuff. And it still tastes perfectly good. Crisp, fresh, and meaty, like normal. (Not really meaty, I'm just kidding!) But what will happen when the sun dawns two days from now? That soda could very well curdle right before our eyes! Right while we're raising a fizzy bottle of caffeiney goodness to our eager, thirsting lips, we could hear a soft, "blaaat," and watch as the soul escapes from the liquid body of the soda that was.

This is a travesty. Should we take it back to the store and try for a better batch? Should we take our chances and risk sudden soda disaster? What to do, what to do. I can't... live... without my poppies. My precious, precious poppies! Okay... I KNOW I have a problem. I never called it "poppies" before this, that's for sure!

How could our grocery store have done this to us? My gah! Doesn't anybody CARE anymore?

Oh, wait... The date on the bottle says "MAY" twenty-third. Not "MAR" twenty-third. Quick calculation... Yes, May is not this month at all!

Oh. Well. Never mind.