Saturday, April 09, 2005

Sports Are Boring, Whatever The Team Name

There's a youth football team in my town. It's called the Hurricanes.

Am I the only one who is confused by naming an inland team the "Hurricanes," in a state (Illinois) that has NEVER had a hurricane... bordered by lots of other states that have similarly NEVER had hurricanes? I guess we're not really keeping things thematically consistent. I like names that reflect where they're from... like the Orlando Magic. Or the Utah Jazz. Oh, wait.

I assume that any teams formerly named the Tsunamis would've gotten changed recently?

Friday, April 08, 2005

One Tamarin, Two Tamarin, Red Tamarin, Blue Tamarin



These are Tamarin monkeys. CLEARLY these creatures were designed by Dr. Seuss.

The Tarsier Is Your Friend



This is a Phillipine Tarsier. They think it's the world's smallest primate. So, it's a monkey... I guess.

And I think it likes you. A who-o-ole lot.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

How Hard Can Poping Be?

BeThePope.com - Become the Next Pope!

Ths thing about Pope John Paul was that he went around Poping to the best of his abilities. I don't know if there have been better Popers, but he outPoped many. Many! He was... Popetastic, if you will. (I'll stop now.)

I was Catholic once. Too bad I didn't resolve my religious views before godparenting my little niecey, Diana! Sorry, Diana... I'll still get you a First Communion present! (I'm leaning towards a Marshmallow Peep making machine! It's from Wham-O!)

Since I'm in between jobs, and there's an open position in Vatican City, well, naturally it occurs to me to wonder about the specific job requirements for Poping. I mean, the worst they can say is no, right? Unless, of course, I'm wrong about the religion thing and end up in the bad place.

My littler niece, Sabrina, on Peeps: "I like to eat the eyes!"

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

All kitties are pretty mentil

mofaha.com : top kittins series 1

This site makes me feel a little disturbed by how cute I think these kitties are.

On the one hand, I abhor things that are cute. If you want to antagonize me, send me an e-card animation of bunnies. (There are people who have done this to me. Repeatedly. And I think I must not sufficiently have conveyed to them ANYTHING about me.)

On the other hand, I have a thing about kitties, and if it's not done in a stupid way, I have no defense against that demographic.

Cute kitty trading cards! See how "Nawty" or "Mentil" your favorite kitties are! Collect them all! I hate myself.

He-cat or She-cat?

He-cat or She-cat photo quiz.

When you're out drinking, (milk, I guess) and you sit down next to that attractive kitty, do you ever wonder... Are they really the gender you THINK they are? Maybe that cute Tom is really a queen! Imagine how awkward, if you don't find out until you get "him" home and start petting him! Oh no! He's pregnant! Or, conversely, oh no! She's... got boy cat parts!

But there are (apparently) subtle facial differences YOU can learn to pick up on, before you pick up that feral floozy! (Not that I could tell, but then again, I don't drink with strange cats. I'm just responsible that way.)

Of course, it doesn't really matter if you spay and neuter! Spay and neuter, folks!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Boobies Equal Ratings?

Fox has a new show called "Stacked."

Can't you just imagine the network suits in the meeting where they came up with that idea? "Gee... let's put Pamela Anderson on a show. She's got gigantic chongas. Chongas equals ratings!"

"Yeah... yeah... I'm with you. But what can we CALL it, without giving people the erroneous impression that the show is about more than just Pamela Anderson's rack? If they think it's got an actual story line, they'll be afraid it will distract from her humongous ta-tas, and they might not tune in!"

"Don't be stupid! Of COURSE they'll tune in! Even if there WERE actual dialog and plotlines, there's still the enormous rack. But just in case, we'll call it, oh, "Boobies!"

"The FCC will bounce it immediately. We can't get away with that."

"Okay... 'Stacked'!"

"Good! Note for later: better get an extra camera. We'll want one just for the show's stars. Uh, star."

Dead Celebrity Soulmate Search



Dead Celebrity Soulmate Search

This is awesome. And it's from A&E. and YOU thought they were stuffy. They're not! And they're interested in helping you with your love life!

"End the heartache of today's 'real live people' dating scene. Find your life-partner among the most successful and famous names in history!"

Oh, I hope it works out with me and "Sunflowers"! He's a painter! He says he most resembles Jack Palance, but with red hair. And there's something romantic/tragic/crazy that happened with his left ear. He cut it off or something?!? I don't know. Maybe I should give this one a pass.