What Gender Is Your Brain?

Blogthings - What Gender Is Your Brain?

Here's a neato quiz that lets you know (very scientificaciously) what percentage of your brain is girl and what percentage is guy. Because, don't you know, nobody's brain is completely one or the other. Except, you know, some people. But not you! Because you read this blog, so you're obviously greater than just a cookie-cutter stereotype! Okay, I'm done kissing your ass, Graceful Reader who I don't even know, necessarily. (I still love you very much, though! Seriously!)

I faked through the quiz so you don't have to! In actuality, my brain is a healthy, productive, fancy mixture of different genders, as well as possibly different species and different materials unknown to mankind. But for your benefit, I pretended to be the girliest freaky girl I could:

Your Brain is 100.00% Female, 0.00% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl Which isn't a bad thing at all You're emphathetic, caring, and in tune with emotions. You're a good friend and give great advice. But you're a pain in the ass, because you cry whenever you break a nail and you have eight thousand pairs of shoes.

And, I couldn't leave out guys, even though they're not really important.

Your Brain is 0.00% Female, 100.00% Male

You've got the brain of a manly man Feelings, schmeelings... tears aren't for you. You could break both legs and not get misty eyed. A great problem solver, nothing ever phases you. But you're a pain in the ass, because you think with your shlong.

They didn't spell "fazes" right. I hate that!

But We're So Young, and So Are All Our Nicest Species

Mass extinction comes every 62 million years, UC physicists discover

Guess we're due for a mass extinction on planet Earth. Every 62 million years, millions of life forms on Earth go extinct. And the last one was 65 million years ago.

Scientists don't know what's happening yet, but they're trying to find possible explanations. Wonder if this could be related to the magnetic pole shift that occurs on Earth every so often?

The north pole is slowly wandering across the Canadian Arctic Ocean. And YOU thought it just stayed in one place and behaved. You stupidhead! Magnetic reversals happen about every 700,000 years. Magnetic Reversals discussed at Geological Survey of Canada.

Well, that time frame doesn't match up. Mass extinctions every 62 million years, magnetic reversals every 700,000 years... Maybe there are mass extinctions just every magnetic reversal that happens on a Wednesday. In August. Of a leap year.

Either way, it's been nice knowing ya! Gee... I'm sorry I called you a stupidhead.

That Building Looks Like a Wang, Part Two

Jonathan Ames writes interesting articles, sometimes in Cabinet Magazine, about nosepicking and the color 'bice.' He asked readers of the magazine what building in the world looked most like a wang. He used different words, because he's classy.

The winner of the world's most phallic building is the water tower of Ypsilanti, Michigan. Ypsilanti has a lot of issues. Perhaps its troubles began with the very strange spelling of its name. Either way, its water tower is called "the brick dick" by residents.

I'm pleased that there are no prongs or spikes on it, as water towers sometimes have, but wangs usually don't.

Pick on Someone Your Own Species

Live-Shot.com - Real Online Hunting, Exotic Game Hunting, Internet Hunting

My friend Justin sent me a link to this site... You can hunt and shoot animals through the Internets. They have Barbary Sheep, Blackbuck Antelope, sheep and wild hogs.

It's real, actual hunting. They have video cameras that swivel around, and there are actual guns, and they have someone at the "shooting station" at all times to keep everything going and shut down the guns if you start aiming at birds that fly past. (You uncooperative butt.)

The Daily Show had a segment on this site, or one enough like it that I can't tell the difference. They made fun of it... that's kinda their thing. But they didn't go far enough pointing out the biggest problems with this.

The Internets was not made for this! The Internets is for getting fast insurance quotes in the middle of the night, emailing everybody you know, and fast, hot, fresh porn. Also Everquest, to keep hopeless geeks from getting outside and eventually breeding. But not long-distance murder!

Hunters are people that, by definition, like to shoot at and kill other creatures. And that is just not all right. I know humans have done that ever since they figured out how, and I know that SOME hunters actually eat the carcasses of their kill, but still. It's twisted, and sick, to be raise your kids to go out and take lives. To plan big weekends around murder.

We're learning more all the time about how animals are not really that dumb. Cows solve puzzles, and give a little, excited jump in the air when they figure something out. Sheep can recognize the faces of ten people and fifty sheep. Chickens are smarter than DOGS. Parrots have the intelligence of five-year-old humans.

Test this and see! Tell the parrot you're going to Disney World if it gets good grades at school, and watch it throw a fit as it realizes it doesn't GO to school, and therefore will not be able to bring home a good report card!

Read this, and agree with me, okay? You know you want to.

Sheep Might Be Dumb, But They're Not Stupid "Studies show that farmyard animals have a range of emotions and a sharp intelligence."

No Grandkids for You, Old Man

let me tell you bout the burboun and the kids

This is a pretty good story, about how one of the authors at TelevisionWithoutPity.com got the birds-and-the-bees talk as a child.

You might not want to read it, if you actually like sex and want to ever have it again.

That Building Looks Like a Wang

World's 10 Tallest Buildings - SkyscraperPage.com

If you're into skyscrapers, you will enjoy Skyscraper Page.

For normal people, you should just go there to observe how the International Finance Centre in Hong Kong looks just like a gigantic wang. Those Chinese women must laugh and laugh, thinking how this could get built without anybody saying something. If they'd had a woman on the design team, she'd have said something, like, "Hey, don't you think this kind of looks like a gigantic wang or something?!?!?"

Once you start thinking along those lines, man! All the other buildings look EXTREMELY PAINFUL and FRIGHTENING. All those spikes sticking up out of them? Keep your skyscrapers in your pants, you cities!

Also, looking at these world's tallest buildings, it becomes clear: The Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur are CHEATING. Having those two prongs sticking up does not make them taller than the Sears Tower! The Sears Tower has prongs, too! If we're including prongs, the Sears Tower should win over ALL the other buildings!

Just keep those prongs away from me, please.

Nothing Happened Today

Ain't It Cool News
I have nothing of interest or import to discuss! Nothing at all happened! I am boring!

So go to Ain't It Cool instead of here. Did you know that Sylvester Stallone is making Rocky 6? SIX!!!

WTF? Is it set in a nursing home?

Speaking of nursing homes, you know, those tattoos will look weird when you're ninety and they're washing your butt. "What was this supposed to be when you got it? Is it a... It's broccoli, right? It's a head of broccoli!" "That's Tweety Bird! Get out of my room, you damn whippersnappers!" (We'll all start saying "whippersnappers" when we get older.)

What am I saying! The Dutch will come and suicide-assist us before we need help washing our butts.